“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things* will be given to you as well.”
As soon as I completed my Master’s degree in May, I began vigorously applying for jobs. I was excited about beginning a new career and a new chapter in my life.
As the months passed, scores of rejections began to pile up and a couple of hopeful interviews resulted in no employment. I continued to apply for positions at an even more frantic rate because money is tight, and my student loan repayment date loomed closer and closer.
By the end of August, with no change in site, in an utterly frustrated and hopeless state, I confronted my heavenly Father about His lack of provision. He responded to my spirit, “Channon, you are thinking too much about these things.”
My focus had shifted from starting a new life chapter to wanting the ability to provide more for my family: a different place to live, more travel opportunities, less debt. In my frustration, I had completely negated God’s providence. For when have we gone without food or clothes or drink or shelter or transportation or gasoline or relationships or medical care? Never. And often, God provides our wants, as well, through His generosity.
My spoiled rotten princess fit wasn’t about a lack of providence, but about the lack of control I had over my current life situation. I had created a plan for complete financial security which hinged on a certain income. The longer I went without a paycheck, the less relevant my financial plan became. I had also mapped out my career growth and the next step in my education which would lay the foundation for our return to Europe. Without career experience, we would never get back to Europe, and that has been my plan all along. My level of frustration, anger, and worthlessness continued to climb the longer I went without employment.
But, Jesus wants me to be concerned about His kingdom and His righteousness rather than these things. He knows what we need; He’ll take care of it. So, I should be asking God to show me the Kingdom work He has planned for me to do. There’s plenty of opportunity in my home and my church and in the daily interactions I have with people. And I have started to apply for jobs with purpose, jobs that stir and excite my spirit when I read the job description.
I don’t know what plan God is forging for me and my family, but it obviously has little to do with my own ambitious devices. So I am focusing on Kingdom work while I wait for His plan to unfold. And I am trusting that the day my student loan payment is due, we’ll be able to pay it because of the miraculous providence of God.
*Jesus clearly states that these things are food and drink, your life, and clothes (vs. 25 – 31). Jesus says He knows what we need in verse 32.